Domestic violence often occurs in cycles of four phases that illustrates how one partner gains control over another. Most relationships start out in the honeymoon phase. This is the phase where partners are infatuated with one another and show one another only their very best side. During this phase, the person who harms is a charming, wonderful, and loving person, offering sweet words and gifts and going out of their way to express their love and affection.

Eventually, the tension building phase begins to replace the honeymoon phase. During this phase, the person being harmed often feels like she/he is walking on eggshells, always trying to keep the peace because it feels as though the person who harms gets upset at the slightest provocation. The tension phase eventually leads to an explosion of physical, verbal or sexual violence. The person who harms will come up with excuses for his/her actions.